Stars and Journeys... with a random tennis thought thrown in there
Tennis is a most enjoyable sport, though my inconsistency constantly amazes me. One minute I have a shockingly well-placed shot that the opponent cannot reach, and the next minute I swing and totally miss the ball. Absurd.
Last night by 11 the sky was perfectly clear and there was no moon in sight. The air was warm with a cool breeze, and I found my mind focusing on a single goal that merely strengthened as the night went on - stargazing. I've discovered that I feel closest to God in three scenarios: sitting in a church (especially my own), watching a sunset/sunrise or a particularly beautiful scene outside, and stargazing. The latter two help me to understand my insignificance, and the consequent burst of awe, shame and humility propels me towards a greater openness with God. Looking up at the stars last night, I found myself thinking, "Lord help me to know the number of my days, that I may learn how frail I am" before I could think about anything else. I felt so drawn towards solitude and the sky, yet trapped by invisible barriers. While I enjoy living here, I wish with all my heart that we had less light pollution and a clearer view of the stars. For a while I conceded defeat, but as I walked towards my house I kept glancing up unconsciously. Looking back, I think I was yearning to connect with God, to break free for one night from the emotions that have been hanging over my head for so many weeks. I wanted to escape.
That's not always possible. In fact, it's not always advisable. Alone I am vulnerable, weak, and empty. But through God I am strong... through Him I find peace. And as much as my stubborn pride tends to convince me that I can always get by on my own, I understand now that I need Him more than the very breath within me, and I sometimes He reaches me through others in my life.
Sometimes the journey we seek becomes clarified through the aid of someone walking beside us, no matter how much we say we can do things alone. We're not meant to walk alone. We are a community, a family, one body intertwined. This sounds so cliche and I apologize for my inability to word these thoughts more eloquently... essentially, I am deeply thankful for the light of God within the people I love. I can't even comprehend how blessed I have been.
Thank you for coming with me last night... it meant so much more to me than you'll ever know.
:-)
Last night by 11 the sky was perfectly clear and there was no moon in sight. The air was warm with a cool breeze, and I found my mind focusing on a single goal that merely strengthened as the night went on - stargazing. I've discovered that I feel closest to God in three scenarios: sitting in a church (especially my own), watching a sunset/sunrise or a particularly beautiful scene outside, and stargazing. The latter two help me to understand my insignificance, and the consequent burst of awe, shame and humility propels me towards a greater openness with God. Looking up at the stars last night, I found myself thinking, "Lord help me to know the number of my days, that I may learn how frail I am" before I could think about anything else. I felt so drawn towards solitude and the sky, yet trapped by invisible barriers. While I enjoy living here, I wish with all my heart that we had less light pollution and a clearer view of the stars. For a while I conceded defeat, but as I walked towards my house I kept glancing up unconsciously. Looking back, I think I was yearning to connect with God, to break free for one night from the emotions that have been hanging over my head for so many weeks. I wanted to escape.
That's not always possible. In fact, it's not always advisable. Alone I am vulnerable, weak, and empty. But through God I am strong... through Him I find peace. And as much as my stubborn pride tends to convince me that I can always get by on my own, I understand now that I need Him more than the very breath within me, and I sometimes He reaches me through others in my life.
Sometimes the journey we seek becomes clarified through the aid of someone walking beside us, no matter how much we say we can do things alone. We're not meant to walk alone. We are a community, a family, one body intertwined. This sounds so cliche and I apologize for my inability to word these thoughts more eloquently... essentially, I am deeply thankful for the light of God within the people I love. I can't even comprehend how blessed I have been.
Thank you for coming with me last night... it meant so much more to me than you'll ever know.
:-)
posted by Sarah @ 8:12 PM
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