Oh, bum
So I have a new record length for not posting this school year. :-/ Oops...
I'm guessing only Mom will see this, which is fine by me. Hi Mom! I'll try to update more, and I know that I always say that but maybe I can make it a weekly routine or something. We'll see, I'm sure.
This semester is even crazier than the last one, and it feels like there are a lot more non-school-related issues than in the fall. It's difficult to say what brought about these changes, but nothing is quite the same. Life is still good here, but it's . . . very different.
I'll just jump backwards a ways. Christmas break was really nice, and I think it was the perfect length of time. It was good to be back with the family, of course, but I was ready to head back down here. Going home to the old high school crew was odd, in a way. During the semester it's extremely hard to keep in touch with everyone from home, so when we finally came together again we had to adjust to several months' worth of changes. We've all had different experiences and grown in our own directions, which is both necessary and confusing. It was inevitable for us to change and for some of us to grow apart, this I know for certain. But it was still oddly confusing to come together and try to re-establish the bonds that we'd once had. By the end of break, I think we all grew really comfortable with one another again, and it felt just like it did in the summer. But of course, just as we reached that point of certain ease, we all left for school again. I know this cycle will continue all throughout my college experience, and I'm okay with that. It's just going to be an interesting ride.
I came back expecting to pick up my life where I'd left it, to fall into the normalcy that had reigned in the fall. Boy, was I wrong. It turns out that the cycle of individual growth/group reconnection happens with your college friends too. After a month apart, we came back only to discover that maybe our group dynamic wasn't quite the same. As the weeks have gone on, this truth has only grown more clear, and it kind of makes me sad. I'm torn, because I know it's foolish to hope for things to always stay the same as they were at the beginning, when everything was "new" and "exciting" and there was always something to do. But I wish so much that we could come together more often--we're just so fragmented now by our own obligations that we haven't been able to rebuild our foundation as a whole. One of my best girl friends has a new boyfriend who she's with all the time, apart from the group. Another is dating a boy who's also in our group, but the two of them spend more time alone together than they do with us now. Another of my gal friends spends a lot of time with a different group, and still another devotes most of her time to homework and talking on the phone with her potential love interest. Usually I end up doing something with Dave and the boys, or else with just a scattered portion of our formerly inseparable group. I think the increasing frequency of this situation (relationships taking precedence over friendships) has had a souring effect on my Valentine's experience. Normally I love the holiday, with all its bold pink and red hearts and gorgeous flower, but this year it made me feel more wistful and frustrated than anything. It's a weird sensation.
On top of these friend issues, I'm extremely busy with classes. I still work in Campus Ministry, and now take piano lessons, which is wonderful but practice eats up a good chunk of time. I'm still in Spanish and Physics, Humanistic Studies, Pilates (which I adore) and the best class I think I could ever have taken: Catholic Social Thought. The professor is incredible and the class is changing the way I look at the world. We examine all sides of the most controversial social issues of today in relation to Church teaching and our personal convictions. It's great, but the professor demands a lot from his students. It's sooo much work. In addition, we're required to take on a semester project, and mine is to become an intern at our local Center for the homeless. I've started working with the teens at the Center, and realize that it's going to take a lot of time and patience. I'll probably post on that later, though. Also, a couple weeks ago my roommate when home sick for the weekend and never came back. Turns out she's still sick, and won't be able to return this semester. I got a phone call Saturday morning that woke me up from her, announcing that she was coming to move out her stuff. She moved out, I rearranged, and three days later a new roommate moved in with me. She's really nice, but it's been odd readjusting after pretty much living in a single for two weeks. I'm trying to make her feel welcome (she's a transfer student who's had a kind of rough roommate transition) and so far things are okay. It's also only been a day. Hm.
But anyway, I feel very overwhelmed by all these responsibilities. It seems like my world is blurring past again, and I'm still searching for a footing. I can't believe it's already halfway to Spring Break... I feel like it can't come fast enough at this point.
But I just keep chugging along, as always. It's not that I'm unhappy--I love it here. I love the good times I have with my friends, even if it's more strained lately. I love the classes and my job and the people around me. I love these campuses and the opportunities that I have to grow, and to examine my faith. It's just ... sometimes I feel more things than I can take in all at once. I'm saturated by the events and emotions of my life right now, and I'm not quite sure where to put the excess.
On that note, I think I'm going to take a nap! God bless you all.
I'm guessing only Mom will see this, which is fine by me. Hi Mom! I'll try to update more, and I know that I always say that but maybe I can make it a weekly routine or something. We'll see, I'm sure.
This semester is even crazier than the last one, and it feels like there are a lot more non-school-related issues than in the fall. It's difficult to say what brought about these changes, but nothing is quite the same. Life is still good here, but it's . . . very different.
I'll just jump backwards a ways. Christmas break was really nice, and I think it was the perfect length of time. It was good to be back with the family, of course, but I was ready to head back down here. Going home to the old high school crew was odd, in a way. During the semester it's extremely hard to keep in touch with everyone from home, so when we finally came together again we had to adjust to several months' worth of changes. We've all had different experiences and grown in our own directions, which is both necessary and confusing. It was inevitable for us to change and for some of us to grow apart, this I know for certain. But it was still oddly confusing to come together and try to re-establish the bonds that we'd once had. By the end of break, I think we all grew really comfortable with one another again, and it felt just like it did in the summer. But of course, just as we reached that point of certain ease, we all left for school again. I know this cycle will continue all throughout my college experience, and I'm okay with that. It's just going to be an interesting ride.
I came back expecting to pick up my life where I'd left it, to fall into the normalcy that had reigned in the fall. Boy, was I wrong. It turns out that the cycle of individual growth/group reconnection happens with your college friends too. After a month apart, we came back only to discover that maybe our group dynamic wasn't quite the same. As the weeks have gone on, this truth has only grown more clear, and it kind of makes me sad. I'm torn, because I know it's foolish to hope for things to always stay the same as they were at the beginning, when everything was "new" and "exciting" and there was always something to do. But I wish so much that we could come together more often--we're just so fragmented now by our own obligations that we haven't been able to rebuild our foundation as a whole. One of my best girl friends has a new boyfriend who she's with all the time, apart from the group. Another is dating a boy who's also in our group, but the two of them spend more time alone together than they do with us now. Another of my gal friends spends a lot of time with a different group, and still another devotes most of her time to homework and talking on the phone with her potential love interest. Usually I end up doing something with Dave and the boys, or else with just a scattered portion of our formerly inseparable group. I think the increasing frequency of this situation (relationships taking precedence over friendships) has had a souring effect on my Valentine's experience. Normally I love the holiday, with all its bold pink and red hearts and gorgeous flower, but this year it made me feel more wistful and frustrated than anything. It's a weird sensation.
On top of these friend issues, I'm extremely busy with classes. I still work in Campus Ministry, and now take piano lessons, which is wonderful but practice eats up a good chunk of time. I'm still in Spanish and Physics, Humanistic Studies, Pilates (which I adore) and the best class I think I could ever have taken: Catholic Social Thought. The professor is incredible and the class is changing the way I look at the world. We examine all sides of the most controversial social issues of today in relation to Church teaching and our personal convictions. It's great, but the professor demands a lot from his students. It's sooo much work. In addition, we're required to take on a semester project, and mine is to become an intern at our local Center for the homeless. I've started working with the teens at the Center, and realize that it's going to take a lot of time and patience. I'll probably post on that later, though. Also, a couple weeks ago my roommate when home sick for the weekend and never came back. Turns out she's still sick, and won't be able to return this semester. I got a phone call Saturday morning that woke me up from her, announcing that she was coming to move out her stuff. She moved out, I rearranged, and three days later a new roommate moved in with me. She's really nice, but it's been odd readjusting after pretty much living in a single for two weeks. I'm trying to make her feel welcome (she's a transfer student who's had a kind of rough roommate transition) and so far things are okay. It's also only been a day. Hm.
But anyway, I feel very overwhelmed by all these responsibilities. It seems like my world is blurring past again, and I'm still searching for a footing. I can't believe it's already halfway to Spring Break... I feel like it can't come fast enough at this point.
But I just keep chugging along, as always. It's not that I'm unhappy--I love it here. I love the good times I have with my friends, even if it's more strained lately. I love the classes and my job and the people around me. I love these campuses and the opportunities that I have to grow, and to examine my faith. It's just ... sometimes I feel more things than I can take in all at once. I'm saturated by the events and emotions of my life right now, and I'm not quite sure where to put the excess.
On that note, I think I'm going to take a nap! God bless you all.
posted by Sarah @ 1:40 PM
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