The Labyrinth
One of my favorite places to go on our campus is the Labyrinth, over by the river in its own quiet, little stretch of land. The more I walk thorugh it, the more I start to understand its relevance to my life. And not just my daily life, but the entire scope of my existence. It boggles my mind... The Labyrinth, just to clarify, is a large, circular maze, of sorts, paved with stones that lead all the way around the circle several times and end in the center. You can walk through it as quickly or as slowly as you feel inclined, and it's a beautiful place to calm your mind and slow down for a little while.
My roommate Jessica put it best one day when she said, "When you're walking in it, all you can do is focus on the step right in front of you. I tried to look at the whole thing to figure out where I was going, and it made me dizzy." She concluded that it's analagous to everyday life, because all if we try to look at the big picture we become overwhelmed. All we can do is look directly ahead of us, one step at a time, and try to move forward with confidence, trusting that we're following the right path.
I like to think of this when I'm feeling stressed and lost in the chaos of my life, especially the life I lead at school. But lately I've been thinking about the Labyrinth in a much broader sense--I see a connection now between that place and the paths we walk throughout our lives. This thought struck me again a few moments ago, when I decided to clean out my Yahoo! e-mail account, which I've been neglecting for several months. I re-discovered an e-mail from an old friend, a recent friend, a fading friend... who knows what I should call him. A wonderful person, whatever the title, and someone who became one of my best friends last year. Unfortunately, this year I speak of him with the past tense more often than the present, but such is the course of life. So there I sat re-reading his words, words filled with enthusiasm and hope and irony... and suddenly Pink Floyd's classic "Wish You Were Here" came on in a burst of bittersweet nostalgia. (Amazing how God seems to sneak in little snippets of the soundtracks of our lives at just the right moments. Always appropriate, never expected...) In that moment, the filmstrip of my memory rewound to the golden days of last fall, then fastforwarded straight through the frozen moments, ringing laughter, hastily wiped tears, late-night conversations, silent sighs, and countless smiles. Faces and music, fading yet thriving in the back of a mind that's learned how to move on in order to avoid pain. I guess it's like the people who walk across burning coals -- you just need to move swiftly, or you'll get burned. The error lies in the waiting.
I can't afford to wait, or to look back and wonder. When I glance behind me in the Labyrinth, I see a winding course that blends the past and the present and the future all into one large circle of stones, all of them integral on my path. When I glance back at those e-mails, those photos and memories and beginnings and endings all interspersed, I see a winding course that's paved with the faces of those who have been so deeply important to my life and to my very identity. The sheer number of faces blows me away, though some of them stand out more than others. They blend and they fade as I move forward, but I couldn't have made it as far as I have without them. And as I walk, sometimes I circle back in their direction, and they wander back into my memory, or even into my life. I never know what's coming around the corner, or who I'll see again... but all I can do is embrace the gratitude and awe that flood my soul when I think back to how far I've come, even if I can't afford to turn all the way around or stop moving. And as I walk, I keep learning to trust that something beautiful awaits me in the steps ahead. All I can do is surrender my life to the plan that's been set in motion, and steer myself towards my Maker in the center. Who knows which faces I'll see again on my journey, and which new faces will join my circle...
All I know for sure is that, somehow, I'll get there.
But for the grace of God, go I.
My roommate Jessica put it best one day when she said, "When you're walking in it, all you can do is focus on the step right in front of you. I tried to look at the whole thing to figure out where I was going, and it made me dizzy." She concluded that it's analagous to everyday life, because all if we try to look at the big picture we become overwhelmed. All we can do is look directly ahead of us, one step at a time, and try to move forward with confidence, trusting that we're following the right path.
I like to think of this when I'm feeling stressed and lost in the chaos of my life, especially the life I lead at school. But lately I've been thinking about the Labyrinth in a much broader sense--I see a connection now between that place and the paths we walk throughout our lives. This thought struck me again a few moments ago, when I decided to clean out my Yahoo! e-mail account, which I've been neglecting for several months. I re-discovered an e-mail from an old friend, a recent friend, a fading friend... who knows what I should call him. A wonderful person, whatever the title, and someone who became one of my best friends last year. Unfortunately, this year I speak of him with the past tense more often than the present, but such is the course of life. So there I sat re-reading his words, words filled with enthusiasm and hope and irony... and suddenly Pink Floyd's classic "Wish You Were Here" came on in a burst of bittersweet nostalgia. (Amazing how God seems to sneak in little snippets of the soundtracks of our lives at just the right moments. Always appropriate, never expected...) In that moment, the filmstrip of my memory rewound to the golden days of last fall, then fastforwarded straight through the frozen moments, ringing laughter, hastily wiped tears, late-night conversations, silent sighs, and countless smiles. Faces and music, fading yet thriving in the back of a mind that's learned how to move on in order to avoid pain. I guess it's like the people who walk across burning coals -- you just need to move swiftly, or you'll get burned. The error lies in the waiting.
I can't afford to wait, or to look back and wonder. When I glance behind me in the Labyrinth, I see a winding course that blends the past and the present and the future all into one large circle of stones, all of them integral on my path. When I glance back at those e-mails, those photos and memories and beginnings and endings all interspersed, I see a winding course that's paved with the faces of those who have been so deeply important to my life and to my very identity. The sheer number of faces blows me away, though some of them stand out more than others. They blend and they fade as I move forward, but I couldn't have made it as far as I have without them. And as I walk, sometimes I circle back in their direction, and they wander back into my memory, or even into my life. I never know what's coming around the corner, or who I'll see again... but all I can do is embrace the gratitude and awe that flood my soul when I think back to how far I've come, even if I can't afford to turn all the way around or stop moving. And as I walk, I keep learning to trust that something beautiful awaits me in the steps ahead. All I can do is surrender my life to the plan that's been set in motion, and steer myself towards my Maker in the center. Who knows which faces I'll see again on my journey, and which new faces will join my circle...
All I know for sure is that, somehow, I'll get there.
But for the grace of God, go I.
posted by Sarah @ 3:14 PM
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